Saturday, July 27, 2013

Letting yourself down is NOT an option!!! Don't force relationships!!

I must say that becoming a parent made me grow up quicker than I wanted to. I am now 27, and I sometimes feel like I'm 47. I no longer put up with foolishness, I pay more attention to my surroundings, and my time means so much more to me than ever before. Sure there are plenty of other things that has changed about me, but those are just to name a few. Now, moving on to why I gave this blog the title, "Letting yourself down is NOT an option". I said that for many many reasons, and its very important because it's no longer just about you, it's you and your little bundle of joy, so it's twice the responsibility.
I have seen people have children, and have bad relationships with the mother or the father. What is even worse, they try and try to make things work for the sake of the child(ren). Let me be the one to tell you that, forcing a relationship because of the child(ren) is not a great idea. Don't get me wrong, sometimes things can work themselves out, however during all of the disagreements, fussing and fighting that child is taking all of it in. Another point Im trying to make is that when you continuously give a person chance after chance, you can no longer be mad at them be mad at yourself for allowing them to fail you over and over again. Don't let yourself or your children down just because you want to make something that is not picture perfect, perfect. Makes sense?
Letting yourself down while being a young parent shows, and your child can sense when something isn't right. I have seen this first-hand. My children know when Im sad, irritated, or upset. Don't think just because your child can't talk, or is just too young know any better; that they dont sense when things aren't right. If you and the father or mother of your child aren't on the same page, then find a way to get to that place. If you know deep down that you are not ready to be with that person, be honest with them and most important; be honest with yourself. Trust me, forcing relationships can be a waste, and you have to ask yourself.......Is this really even real?
Overall, I know I rambled on a little, and most of the time I do that in live conversations. My mind runs a million miles a minute and I have to get it all out. Anywho, make sure you dont let yourself down because as I always say, your kids depend on you. Focusing on relationships that YOU know won't work or isn't the best for you child......let it go!!! We all want the perfect family, house, car and kids.......remember, nothing is perfect, but strive for the best!!!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Fatherless Child......Sons or Daughters, it Hurts No Matter What!!



Have you ever said to yourself, that you would never leave your child's side no matter the circumstances? Have you ever said, that you would always love and never miss a moment with your child? Well I say this all of the time, and stand firm with those words. I can't wrap my mind around a reason why a person would not want to be in their children's lives. They are a image of you, you help bring this child in the world, and they give you love like no other. Growing up, I seen my Father from time to time. I would never see or spend time with him on a daily basis. All I had to look to was my older brother, and that was not his responsibility to be my father. Reaching my teen years I would cry for him, and wonder why he never wanted to be around like the other dads I saw in my surroundings. I started to blame myself, and I started to blame my mother for not pushing him to do what he was suppose to do. At that time I just didn't get it, and I was growing angry and frustrated with it all. I wanted to have a father in my life so bad that I would go and look for one. Not actually searching, but when I came across a man that I liked I would smother them with my phone calls, visits, and just wanting them to be there and never leave. It was a struggle to understand that neither of those men that I thought I loved, or cared for could never be the father that I needed.

Moving On....

I know that there are more than a few things in life that you just have to walk away from. You can only do and say so much, and things aren't changing, then it is time to move on. I had to learn that the hard way with dealing with my father. I continued to believe that he would come around, and he didn't. I continued to believe that he would call, but he didn't. As much as I needed him to just be there, I had to move on. I'm not saying that I just completely ignored him, or acted as if he never existed. I simply put my feelings to the side and thought more with my mind rather than my heart.

We Need You....

I can assure any male, that all daughters need their fathers. I understand that men have special relationships with their sons, but your daughters need you too. They need a good father to look up to, so when she is in her adulthood she would know how to be treated. She needs you for advice, security, and just the love. A father who is there for the good and the bad. Her first break-up, her first job, and when walks down that aisle. Fathers also need to know that it isnt all about how much money you can spend, or what kind of car you buy for you daughter, but it is all about time being spent. Its about listening to her, and enjoying the conversations you and your daughter has. Get to know your daughter, because there will be times where she doesn't want to go to mom and she will look for you. You surely don't want her to find a father image in the streets. Be there, protect her, and love her and trust me she will love you back.

Why I Wrote This

I wrote this blog because I too wanted my father growing up. I had a short conversation with my father the other night and I usually write blogs to vent. This is why this blog is so short. I honestly feel like I can relate to a variety of people, and people would understand where I am coming from. I have been through quite a bit, single mother of three, and I too grew up fatherless. I'm praying that someone reads this, and could possibly feel better. I know it sounds bad, but just to know that you are not alone and you can move forward with the things that bother you. I always say, things happen for a reason, learn from it, and Move On. Try not to dwell on the past if it isn't positive, and work on making more positive memories for you to look back on.